My Heroes

I just had a major failure of technologies, in a most unpleasant way. And WOW, was I cold!

I went for a training ride to go up and down Ohio Hill a couple of times. The thermometer said "35" which in comparison to our recent temperatures, should have been like a warm spring day. It wasn't. The thermometer doesn't take a little something like freezing-blustering-windgusts-that-chill-you-to-the-very-core-of-your-being. I want to keep this blog PG rated, but I have to say: SHIT, was I cold. I refused to modify my route or give up completely because I (incorrectly) thought that the heat my body generated struggling up Ohio would be enough to keep me warm. Did I mention that this was an incorrect presumption? Anyway.

I did finally make it home without losing any fingers, toes, or the tip of my nose along the way. I entered the house, got a whiff of the chili cooking in the crockpot, and decided that it is IMPERATIVE that I run to the store to buy beans for the chili. I could ride the 3/4 mile to the store, by bike or uni, but did I mention how COLD I was? So, I drove.

I bought my beans, still freezing even with my super-amazing down jacket because my core temp was taking too long to recover. Did I mention that I decided not to wear a hat? I foolishly thought that it would be excessive during this trip... further evidence that being super cold does freeze your brain.

When I got out to my car, I threw the can of beans on the seat, put my key in the ignition... and couldn't turn it! It felt like I had the wrong key, or the right key in the wrong car. I actually looked around to make sure that I was in my car. Nope, it was mine. Sigh. I struggled with the key, trying in vain to get it to turn. I got out of the car. I got back in the car. I locked it. I unlocked it. I wiggled the steering wheel, put the car in/out of gear, played with the emergency brake, turned off all controls... nothing. So, I do what any married damsel-in-distress would do. I decided to call my husband.

But, oops, the cell didn't work! All calls failed. To everyone I tried to call. Great. In desperation, I texted Joe and asked him to call me. A couple minutes later I received a text ( :) ) saying that my phone was going straight to voicemail ( :( ). Feeling great empathy for those pioneer woman who needed to communicate with their husbands via telegraph to get the buggy out of the ditch, Joe and I texted back and forth to figure out a way to get my car started. I tried everything, including fiercely moving the steering wheel left then right, without success. Joe, bless his heart, packed up Anson, and they drove the store to help me out.

Did I mention that I was FREEZING? Without hat? I was actually shaking by the time they arrived. Why didn't I go into the store to get warm? Good question (insert 'hindsight 20/20 quote here'). I also had the painful realization that not only would biking to the store have been ultimately quicker, I would have also been much warmer!

Joe and Anson arrived, and parked behind my car. Joe exited his car, I exited mine, Joe entered my car, yanked the steering wheel in the exact manner I did and got the key to turn. Sigh. He has some karma about him that makes these complicated pieces of technology behave.

Before Joe allows me back into my car, he told me that I needed to hear what Anson had to say to me. I was expecting an "aye aye aye" or some other disparaging remark that Anson is so good at. Instead, when Joe opens the rear doors, I hear, "Vvvv Mama!"

"That's right," Joe replied. "You saved Mama!"

PS This also served as a lesson as to why I should NEVER let Anson play with my phone. That boy is GENIUS at surreptitiously making any gadget stop functioning in the way it was meant to work.